Thursday, March 5, 2009

Jesus on the Mound

(read in the style of "Casey at the Bat")

Things weren’t looking good for the local hometown nine
Jesus wasn’t happy, he’d spent the season riding pine
The skipper wouldn’t use him, he said Jesus had a ‘tude
He couldn’t understand it, he’d heard the lord was a mellow dude

When he pitched batting practice, Jesus wasn’t nice
Every hacker stepping in would fan - not once, but twice
His fastball whistled in too fast, his slider bent like wire
He threw a nasty change up and his arm would never tire

No one could get the bat around, no one could quite connect
Jesus grinned and said aloud “What did you expect”?
Sportsmanship was lost on him, this one so pure and clean
When he hit the baseball field, the son of God was mean

The other men were angry when Jesus took the mound
Like Kelly Leak he made the plays, no ball would touch the ground
Though Jesus had knuckleball and vast amounts of nerve
One thing had plagued him dauntingly, he couldn’t throw a curve

At every vital juncture, when a game was still in doubt
Jesus tried the bender and rarely got an out
He’d kick the dirt dejectedly while tears began to swell
“You’re no Sandy Koufax” some atheist would yell

Now the score was much to close and the bullpen had been lame
The skipper called to Jesus “You’re going in the game!”
Jesus needed no warm up, he was already loose
The skipper begged him “Jesus, please don’t throw the deuce”.

The visitors had a man on third, the clean up hitter at the plate
Jesus needed just one out, to seal their losing fate
He quickly got to two strikes, throwing nothing but the heat
The batter standing in the box, staring at his feet

Jesus toed the rubber and heard the skipper call
“Jesus, please don’t do it! Not the breaking ball!”
Jesus had been stubborn, yes, all season long
Sticking with that curveball, had turned out to be wrong

Jesus reared and tossed the ball, it had an easy pace
The batter waited patiently, a smile grew on his face
But then the ball, it did a thing, to this grinning hitter
He lunged and missed mightily Jesus had thrown a splitter!

The crowd was going wild, they screamed and whooped and yelled
Jesus swallowed his foolish pride and the enemy had been felled
A lesson had been learned that day, a change in some behavior
Jesus got the final out and became a real savior.